Monday, June 30, 2008

Snail's Pace People of the World!

I have no problem with you taking a little extra time to do things. I myself enjoy leisurely strolls, a slow start to the morning and an unhurried conversation. However, whenever I happen to be lallygagging, I take take great pains to insure that my need to move a little slower does not interfere with the need of others to keep up a fast pace. Many of you could stand to put this wisdom into practice.

For example, if you feel the need to buy two cart fulls of groceries that are all organic, unmarked products and you would like to use coupons for every item you are purchasing, more power to you. Just be sure to stay the hell out of the 15 item limit line. That line is for me and all my other fast paced friends who only have five minutes left of their lunch break and still need to eat.

Also, when driving, if you should feel the need to go under the speed limit, indulge in frequent and sporadic breaking or stop for pedestrians who are illegally jay walking, please stick to the right lane. The center lane is for those of us who can't afford more expensive thrills than traveling above the speed limit with little to no interruption.

You stay in your lane and I'll stay in mine. The world will be a much happier place.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

amen!

Jim said...

And you wonder why I think you have an anger problem? What do you do when people take too long to pump your gas for you?