Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Celebrating the Small Things

There are so many reasons to be negative today; especially with my own critical inner voice adding to the constant drone of wordly downers.

So I've decided to give myself some reasons to be positive. Instead of focusing on all the ways today fell short of my expectations I'm going to celebrate a few of the small (but big to me!) successes of the day. Yay me! And thank you Jesus for all your love at the heart of everything good and bad.

Today I:

Ate two well balanced meals
Asked for help
Went off the beaten track and was rewarded with lunch in the park
Didn't give up. Four times didn't give up.
Was friendly
Went out on a limb for, and was blessed by, a total stranger
Asked for what I wanted and took steps to get it
Had fun
Tried something new
Laughed

I hope you take some time to celebrate your successes too! You might be surprised by how many are there waiting to be appreciated.

p.s. Driving a Chevy Malibu in No. Cal. is like pushing a boat through sand; Johnny Depp style.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

A Good Laugh

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/study_finds_working_at_work

Friday, November 16, 2007

A Revelation

I think I've figured out a way to minimize my stress in the future. Next year, instead of reading every application and trying to objectively decide who's in based on all our subjective data, we'll just admit the first 500 students who apply regardless of any other factors. I think this will not only save us time and energy but it will spice up campus life as well! Who's with me?

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Swamped

Unread application files loom over me like imposing sky scrapers or waist high noxious weeds while I futilely make phone call after phone call to California High Schools in an attempt to plan my next two weeks of travel. Meanwhile hostile e-mails pour in as anxious students await my decision.

Will they be welcomed into our warm friendly womb-like community or be heartlessly cut loose into the unfriendly sea of wait listed students? The numbers of students left in limbo continues to rise and swell with everyday that passes.

I am only too happy to oblige them and give the all final ruling if only I could fend of the constant attack of visitors, interviews and paperwork long enough to sit down and read one application. I won't even mention the upcoming opportunity for public humiliation that is cleverly masquerading as a favor to my boss.

I need a day. In my bed. With sappy movies and cups of chamomile and peppermint tea. And maybe a friend. A silent and snugly, preferably male and attractive friend. Maybe then I will feel up to the task.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Chinese Bamboo Torture

I learned once (I can't remember how or why so don't ask) that bamboo has been used in the Chinese culture as a tool of torture. One particularly painful form of torture involves placing shoots of bamboo underneath the victim's fingernails. As the bamboo grows, pain ensues.

This sounds pretty painful. However, I think I have brilliantly discovered an equally painful alternative method that can be used should bamboo not be readily available. Instead of putting bamboo under the fingernails, torturers should put acrylic on the finger nails, allow them to dry for a week or so and then have the prisoners rip them off without the aid of any useful tools.

I inadvertently discovered this torture method last night when I opted to remove my own fake nails in order to save money. OUCH!

Sunday, November 4, 2007

My Bed

There is something uniquely healing and comforting about sleeping in your own bed.

I don't even have a real bed and the one I do have is incredibly uncomfortable. I wake up every morning with moderate back pain caused by metal bars digging into my back at uneven angles while I sleep. It's like lying on monkey bars with only a worn out sleeping bag serving as a buffer.

And yet, I am infinitely overjoyed to be home sleeping in this bed. Why? Because it is mine.